The Ward (OR John Carpenter’s The Ward – chris ringler’s the review!

   Can I tell you how glad I am that John Carpenter is back? I have loved this man’s films since I was a kid and to have him getting back to form is amazing to me. Sure, this isn’t a homerun, this isn’t the ‘good old days’ but this is a big step forward. See, I liked Ghosts of Mars, it was ok, and so was Vampires, but neither was really that solid. The Ward, this is solid.

   When a young woman with no recollection of her past is caught burning a house down she has seemingly no connection to the house she is taken to an asylum so the doctors there can decide what to do with her. What the girl finds there is that things are not as they seem. The other patients are secretive, are hiding something, as are the staff, and there seems a shadow over the entire ward itself. When the girl begins to see something that seems to be stalking her when she isn’t looking and the feeling that there is something wrong here grows. Slowly she learns the secret of the ward, the story of the dark thing stalking them all, but can she figure out what this thing is and how to stop it before it’s too late?

   The thing about the story here is that it’s too familiar. The film plays like two films I have seen recently and that is not Carpenter’s fault but is the fault of the writers. The story is a very simple ghost tale but that is fine, that isn’t an issue. The thing is that Carpenter makes this film rise above that simple story. The actors are good, the sets are nice, the effects are decent, but in the end this is Carpenter’s show and he proves that he is ready to get back into the full swing. What he needs is a killer script. He needs that script and who knows how good it can be?

   It has been so sad to see the great horror directors wilt over the years, wilt under the pressure of a studio system with no loyalty and short memories. It is rare and nice to see John Carpenter showing that he still has his skills, still has his eye, and can still make good films. I hope that some of the other old school guys come through as well.

   This is not a great film, at all, but it’s a darn solid one, and is a very good watch. The very end is as trite and dreadful as any ‘80s horror film but the rest was so good that I forgave it. I really recommend this and hope this is the start of a new era for the grand legend of horror.

7 out of 10

Half Moon

I have to admit that it’s a nice surprise to find a low budget horror film that actually seems to have the same idea I always say these types of movies SHOULD have, and that is to focus on what you have and can do and not what you cannot do. Too many indie horror films try to shoot for the stars when they don’t have the budget for it and in the end they look foolish. Movies are successful when they understand their limitations and what they can accomplish with their funding. It is ingenuity and skill that will make up what the budget cannot afford, and Half Moon seems to understand that. Well, until the end, that is.

In Half Moon we have the story of a young hooker who ‘borrows’ a regular client of another girl for the night after and finds out she has signed on for more than she bargained for. The lure of money leads her away from where her pimp has any power so she knows this has to be a big, easy score. What she finds though is not what she had been expecting. Waiting for her in the motel room is a well spoken man who is more interested in getting to know the girl than he is the sex. He has dinner ready for her, has wine, and wants to know about her, and who she is, something the girl is unused to. The night becomes a sort of date between the two and all is going well until the girl’s greed gets the better of her and she starts to snoop into a bag the man has in the bathroom. Finding supplies that look like they might be for a kidnapping, the girl knocks her client unconscious and calls her pimp who, despite his anger at her, wants the money in the john’s safe as much as she does. What the two of them don’t know though is that the man was once bitten by something and since that bite has slowly becoming less and less human. The money in the safe is to pay for the last treatment that will cure the man. As time slips away it falls to the young prostitute to decide whether she will remain true to the man that uses and abuses her or will take a chance on the one man that was kind to her, and her choice will mean life or death because the moon has risen, and the wolf is fast approaching.

This is a really solid film. Instead of relying on cheap special effects we have a pretty well acted character piece and the two leads are very good in their roles. There are some corny moments but overall it’s pretty solid. I appreciated that they didn’t even really focus on the horror of the film until near the end. As well made as the film is there are some unfortunate bumps along the way. Awkward sound issues, some awful shots of a digital moon, and a horrible ending really keep this from being not just decent but very good. It’s hard to fault the filmmakers completely though because they did a very good job otherwise. I truly applaud them for staying within a budget and making an effective film with it. Not at all what I expected.

While there are some issues it’s still worth a look and shows some real talent from the cast and crew. Let’s hope that this is just the first step in a long career.

6 out of 10

S&Man – review

S&Man

For fans of horror films there is always the allure of the unknown and the unseen. There is always the pull of the forbidden. When I was in my teens and twenties the bootleg horror market was booming. There were all kinds of horror movies from Asia, Europe, Mexico, even the U.S. that went unseen, or at least only seen in heavily edited forms and the only way to find these movies was on the underground dealer circuit, at conventions, or on sketchy websites that lived as close to the edge of legal as possible. This was such an exciting time to be a fan because, while so many films were unavailable many of them were out there waiting to be discovered and their discoveries were amazing. Now there is little that is unseen and there is less that is undone. Now that some of the great and rarely seen horror films are available, and can now be seen cleaner, crisper, and louder than ever before there is little undiscovered country for the hardcore horror fan. Ah, but there is always the draw to the underground. The underground is where the gore is thicker, the violence harder, and where the only thing off limits is being boring. The underground is where you head if you want something that the indie and mainstream filmmakers are not giving you. Enter S&Man a pseudo-documentary that delves into the world of underground horror films and the people behind them.

The film begins discussing how director J.T. Petty first got into directing by doing an extreme horror film and that when he saw the filmmakers doing the horror con circuit and the brand of horror he decided to link that to a voyeur he had heard a story of when he was young, and this is where the film begins. When the neighborhood voyuer refuses to be interviewed though the film Petty had planned seems in question but within the underground horror world he finds his focus. Here is where horror becomes more extreme, more taboo, and where nothing is off limits. Here we meet several pundits and filmmakers who talk about the allure of the underground, the power of it, and why people are drawn to it. As we are meeting these people we also meet the director of the S&Man series, a quiet man who directs a series of videos where his ‘character’ stalks young women, steals mementos from their homes, and eventually kidnaps and ‘kills’ the women. Petty and his crew are immediately suspicious of how he makes his films and what they really are but he is the only one of the filmmakers that not only wants to talk about his movies but wants the crew to understand them and what they are. Just the same, as Petty and his crew get to know the filmmaker more they start to push for answers – who are these women? do they know you are following them? where are the women now? The more they push for answers though the less the filmmaker will reveal and the more the questions mount, creating a mystery that may prove deadly in the end.

This is a pretty interesting film. On one hand the documentary is very good and deserves to be longer and deeper as the underground scene is getting a lot bigger these days. Sadly, of the two main filmmakers interviewed you only really take one of them seriously where the other really lives down to the stereotype. As for the fictional part of the film it’s very fun but not terribly believable. I won’t ruin the film, and am dicey about whether or not to say what is or is not real but honestly, if you believe that someone put a movie out about a serial killer on the prowl well, you are a big gullible. Which is not to say that this aspect of the film is poorly done. It’s very creepy and when played against the ‘extreme’ horror the nature of the ‘real’ killer and how reserved his murders are really pushes the question of which is more disturbing – the reality or the preceived reality? The movie is good, to be sure, but it just didn’t pull me in. As interesting as the extreme horror subgenre is I really have no interest in that stuff and have seen things that disturbed me more. Not having seen a whole film from the filmmakers of this stuff I can say I saw enough to know that Nekromantik and A Serbian Film were much more disturbing because there was depth there and more art. The scarier stuff for me was definitely the ‘fake’ part of the film about the killer. It was handled very well and really showed the difference between gross out and tone in horror films.

While not a great film., this is a find and a lot of fans will find something to like here. The extreme footage is definitely a bit much and will turn of many viewers but if you can get past that it’s a solid entry and worth a watch. As a fan of this type of film it’s pretty well done and handled and has a very creepy ending.

6.5 out of 10

Got Meep?

www.meepsheep.com

Unthinkable – movie review

Unthinkable – review

For a good many years the United States has lived beneath the shadow of What If, a shadow that became all the longer after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. This is a specter that has haunted the arts and media heavily but rarely do we get past the jingoism of Us versus Them. Rarely do we see beyond the veil of politics to the matter at hand and that is – if the worst were to happen, what would we do to stop it? Enter Unthinkable, a movie with good and known actors and a film that dares to ask and answer What If?

In a special terrorism unit of the FBI they are chasing after shadows and ghosts until one of these ghosts appears in the center of a plot to detonate three nuclear bombs in American cities. Embarrassed at having let this man, an ex-U.S. military bomb expert turned radical, slip through their fingers the group quickly mobilizes to find out what is going on. When they start pulling in anyone that might know the man they happen to target someone protected by the CIA and who knows more than the FBI is authorized to hear. There is a break though when the terrorist seemingly surrenders himself in the middle of a packed mall but it is when he is taken into custody that the real games begin. It is here where the CIA spook returns and the FBI learns that he is a very dangerous interrogation expert who will stop at nothing to find out where the bombs are. But the lead FBI agent must ask herself if the truth is worth the dangerous road that her superiors are willing to take in order to save the millions of lives the terrorist has put at risk.

For many, the deeper core of the film – questioning how far we would allow our ‘interrogation’ tactics to go and what we are willing to do to save lives – will be very cut and dried, and I can see that. This film works on two levels and both are very well done. First we get a decent thriller where we are waiting to see whether or not the ‘protagonists’ will find and diffuse the bombs before it is too late or whether the worst will come to pass. With that there is the notion that in order to fight true terrorism takes acts of terrorism. There are some very heavy echoes of things that have actually come to pass in recent American history and our treatment of terror suspects and the film works best when it is playing in that field. The film is certainly strongest when Samuel Jackson as the interrogator is pitting his wits against an impassioned terrorist. This is where the film really takes on its power.

Sam Jackson is easily the best thing about this film though because we get to see him at his scariest and he plays his character well enough that while his acts may be monstrous, he is not a monster, he is only willing to do what has to be done to stop another monster. The film does very well to slowly ratchet up the tension and as the torture escalates so too does the line between what we may and may not be willing to do become blurrier. It is this dance, between what is right and what is good that the lines most of us live by become ideals that may not always be reasonable. The film boasts pretty good performances overall and this is a very well put together cast. What it feels like is a play that worked as a movie because this can easily be done as a very small theatrical presentation and would have just as much power.

Sometimes the film plays its hand a little too heavily though. The special agent who is our voice of reason and conscience (Carrie-Ann Moss) is generally good but some of the things they make her act on or say seem naïve for an FBI agent. Just as some of the ‘real life’ moments where the agents go to track down a lead seems a bit silly in how such a highly dangerous situation is handled.

This is not a subtle film. Not at all. But it isn’t meant to be. This is meant to be the great What If, and as such it works wonderfully. There are some hammy moments. There are some manipulative moments. Overall though this is a strong thriller with much to offer, not the least of which being a solid ending. This won’t be for everyone as the politics is heavy here and the torture gets very intense but overall this is a very good film that sits happily on the shelf of second tier films that come out each year.

7.5 out of 10

www.meepsheep.com

American Fetish – review

Ya know, far be it for me, or any of us suckers lucky enough to get movies in the mail to review, to ever say that reviewing movies is a chore but, darn, sometimes it really is. Most of the time even the bad movies are watchably bad, and are at least amusing but once in a great while you get a movie like American Fetish, which is so unrepentantly mediocre that it takes everything in you to finish watching it. Sure, there are worse films than these, for sure, but there are scarcely films more boring, that is for sure.

American Fetish is the story of a man looking to solve the riddle of his deceased father. It seems his father had been an underground fetish filmmaker years earlier, many with the man’s mother in them, and had reached a level of infamy and legend until his death. His father also had been convicted of murders the son never believed he committed and he has now become obsessed with proving his father’s innocence. What the son finds though is that the deeper he digs into his father’s past the deeper he falls into the fetish world of his father. His only hope is that with the help of someone he can get to the bottom of the mystery of his father’s life before that life consumes him and changes him forever.

The first and most important thing you should know is that I had to look up what this movie was about because I had already forgotten. What this felt like was someone who knows a lot people in the fetish world and wanted to make a movie so they leaned on these friendships thinking they would make something shocking and gripping. Let me assure you – they didn’t. This is a clumsily made film with little plot, no logic, terrible acting, and no heart. It was all about the ideas and none of them connected with me. The film is far too interested in the fetish angle and not the mystery and they lose the story this way. Now, if you are into the fetish scene than there may be some interesting stuff for you though, honestly, none of if felt sexy, and none of it felt compelling. So instead of an interesting, edgy mystery film set in the fetish lifestyle you get a very boring movie that is obsessed with fetish but never makes it sexy. Not a good sign.

This movie doesn’t work, and the sad heck of it is that the review copy I got was shrunk to fit the cent of my HD set and had the ‘this is property of…’ info in the MIDDLE OF THE SCREEN. Distracting to say the least. The production values are low and it reflects on the quality of the film. I hate being so negative about a movie but it’s my hope that this film gets the door open for the filmmakers and actors and that they can use this as a way to get further in their careers. I just found nothing of interest here. It was boring, poorly shot, and utterly lost me as far as the story goes.

4 out of 10

Star Crash

Ya know, as modern audiences we are pretty spoiled .Even the the worst and lowest budget movies can luck out and get some talented people to do special effects or computer work for them thus making the film look way better than it has a right to. Now we can turn on the worst of Syfy Channel movies and while the effects won’t be good they are better than the films usually deserve. Thanks to digital effects it’s easy for a movie to immediately turn to that route to handle their film’s more challenging special effects so they can fake it and move on. It may make the movies ‘look better’ but it also takes the fun and soul from these movies and most certainly saps any charm the film might have. Suddenly all these movies look the same, with the same effects, same actors, and same plots. Ah, but once upon a time this wasn’t the case. The movies may not have been good, the actors may still have closer to the letter Z than the letter A on the celeb lists but these movies still had so much passion, style, and charm that you still had to respect them and appreciate them, no matter how cheesy they were. Enter Star Crash, a movie with a pretty rabid fan following and more fun than ten of the modern films of the same ilk.

Star Crash follows the exploits of space adventurer Stella Star, a woman wanted by the galactic emperor for crimes and shenanigans against the empire. Part pirate, part sex-kitten, Stella is a woman who refuses to bow before any man and she is the only one that will give the universe a chance against a power hungry villain bent on destroying all who oppose him. Enlisted by the very people who have sought to incarcerate her for so long, Stella must join the Emperor’s forces and hunt down the secret weapon the evil Count is hiding somewhere in the uncharted places of the galaxy. Joined by a brave robot policeman, and a mystic Stella faces Amazons, cave people, robots, and living statues in her quest and at every step is faced with peril but fights on. As daring as she may be though, it is only through the help of her friends that she is able to finally face down the Count and his soldiers and it is only together that any of them, and indeed the universe itself has any hope.

This is the kind of movie that film nerds love because it takes faith and an open heart to really stick with and it is utterly worth it. This isn’t a ‘good’ movie in many ways but at every hurdle the film finds a way to keep you watching and keep you interested. Caroline Munro proves to be the perfect person to play Stella and brings a seriousness to her role that you need to keep the film from spiraling into ridiculousness. It is almost by her sheer will that the film works, and darn it, it does work. The effects are ambitious poverty row gags that still manage to inspire awe that they even dared attempt such things. One thing you cannot say about this movie is that it wasn’t ambitious or epic. What is funny is that in mimicing such movies as Star Wars it reminds you more of the very roots of such a classic series and that is the early serialized films that brought people to theaters in the thirties and forties.Star Crash captures that feeling even more than a film like Star Wars because it holds true to the senseless fun and never tries to explain things that you don’t necessarily care about. It isn’t about the why things are happening so much as how will they get out of this jam? And that is the fun of the movie.

You can spend all day and night obsessing over what is wrong with Star Crash, and that’s fine, but the thing is that this movie is exactly what it set out to be and that is light fun. This is no Summer blockbuster but I would bet most people watching this with friends some night or by themselves some afternoon would have a heck of a fun time with the movie, and that says a lot more than any big budget ever can.

6.5 out of 10

(PS – never let the number score stand in the way of enjoying a film. With a movie like this, it’s a FUN movie, not a great movie, but a fun one, and that’s the point, in the end.)

Catfish – review

Catfish

There is one thing with film that other mediums don’t quite have and that is the intimacy of certain films, especially documentaries. Until the past few years we accepted that a documentary was reality and while we may also accept that some of the moments in the film may be accentuated through editing or sound design, essentially you are supposed to be watching a work of non-fiction. Things have changed though with films like The Blair Witch Project and the films of Michael Moore and reality has become very loose and documentaries have become very exaggerated. Oh, the truth is still in there but it can change with the filmmaker and their views and with films like Blair Witch the form of the documentary has become another way to convey a fictitious tale. Such is the tale of Catfish a movie set out and meant to be a documentary but which seems so sensationalistic that it stretches its credibility.

Catfish is the story of a New York photographer who starts up a long distant friendship with a young girl who recreated a photo of his in a painting. He is so charmed by her paintings and her spirit that she becomes a regular part of his life via her letters and art. The friendship deepens when the girl’s mother and sister add him as friends on the website Facebook and he starts to get close to all of them. Capturing all of this on film is Nev’s brother and friend, who are so fascinated by this story of unsusual friendship that they decide to make a documentary about it. The family lives in Michigan so things never progress past calls, emails, and the occasional package but the photographer starts to get close to the little girl’s older sister, a beautiful young woman who models, dances, and is a musician. As crazy as it seems, he is falling in love with her despite the miles between them. Nev, the photographer, begins to get suspicious though when he realizes the music the older sister is sending him and taking credit for is all music from little known recording artists. Suddenly angry that he as been lied to, he and his brother and friend decide it is time to really discover how real his friendships are and how much is sheer fabrication. And it is the quest for the truth and the answers that lie at the heart of this friendship that make up the mystery of this film, and is something that should be seen to be believed.

And believabilty is definitely the biggest issue with this film. Taken as a movie, it is fascinating. It is the truth of the film that stretches your patience. If you accept it as a fiction it is fascinating, and while the twists are not as scary as I may have hoped (seriously, the hype here was a bit out of control) the movie is good. It is just that, really, who can honestly take this as fact. It is too convenient that the camera is always present to capture things, and that Nev is always willing to allow himself to be manipulated into continuing on with things. There are just too many questions, too much asked of the audience that to take it as fact is asking too much. As a fiction though it is compelling, chilling, and to varying degrees heartbreaking. But the audience will be divided between those that love and those that hate the film. And then there are the oddballs like me.

I like the movie, to be sure. I think it is fascinating, is scary at times, and is utterly watchable, but where the movie is heading and where you end up isn’t exactly what I hoped for. I had built the film up so much over the course of hearing about it that I really, really wanted it to be more than it is. And that isn’t fair of me to punish it for not being what I wanted it to be but the facts is the facts, and the fact is that it plays better as fiction than fact, and if it is fiction, it needed more fiction to be compelling. It is very well made, has a gripping story to tell, is ably filmed, and you will be hard pressed to not want to know how it ends. It has its issues, to be sure, but it is a conversation starter and another film worth the analysis.

It isn’t great, but it is a solid movie and whether you believe it or not, it is worth a look. Just go in knowing that things, in the film, and about the film, are not always what they seem.

7 out of 10

Malevolence – review

Ah, the slasher sub-genre, the tried and true favorite of filmmakers young and old. The slasher film is the old war-horse of horror and is a staple that never goes out of style. The films get gorier, get more ridiculous, then dial back to the forebears and play more on creeps than blood but essentially they are the same. These are like the slapstick comedies of old, it’s all about the gags, and no matter how many times the stories are told, there is always a new twist to add in, always a new way to tell teh story of the boogieman. Malevolence is just such a re-telling.

After a bunch of bumbling crooks botch a bank heist the survivors set off separately toward the meeting place – an abandoned old farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere. They’ll meet up and split the money then disappear. What they don’t know is that the farmhouse isn’t as abandoned as they think. It seems there is something dark and deadly stalking those shadowed halls and is all too happy to welcome in new guests. When one of the bank robbers kidnaps a mother and daughter it only increases the danger and as things continue to spiral out of control, the hostages will have to trust their captors if any of them are to have a hope of escaping.

If you have seen Halloween then you will recognize the music (it is a loving homage, not a rip-off, but you can tell where it came from), as well as the set ups and killer. None of this is a bad thing but it doesn’t make for a wholly original thing either. This is your every day average silent killer roaming the darkness and knocking off the victims affair and it sticks pretty close to that template. You have to give it credit though, the sets are creepy, the lighting is good, the film is shot well, and the killer is pretty good (though he reminds one a bit too much of Jason Voorhees circa part 2). The problem isn’t with the structure, it’s with the dressing, or the story, which is pretty horrible. The whole ‘bank robbers botch a job and are on the run’ schtick is older than the slasher film and it feels flimsy here, as do the characters. And phew, the end is utterly predictable. Still, all that aside, the film is watchable and pretty enjoyable. This never turns into a gorefest, the kills are good, and the killer is pretty darn creepy. The problem was just a lack of originality. Oh, well., there is also the good job they did on killing the film’s pace and ending with ten minutes of exposition explaining what we just saw.

If you are a slasher film fan then this is definitely worth a look, and it won’t disappoint. The problem though is that with films like Behind the Mask out there, a movie has to up its game these days to get and keep your attention, and while this is a fun film, it’s certainly not one you’ll be going back to over the years.

6.5 out of 10

Chronicles Of An Exorcism – review

Over the years of watching bad movies you start to get a little gunshy on checking new ones out. Shucks, and can you blame me or anyone else because of that? Hecks no. If it isn’t seeing bad mainstream movies it’s seeing bad indie ones and sometimes the worst are the ones that the world SWEARS are simply genius yet you just hate with every fiber of your being. Once in a while though you take a deep breath, hold it, and dive right back into the movie poop and see what is out there. Thanks to services like Netflix, trying new movies isn’t nearly as daunting as it used to be. Enter Chronicles of an Exorcism, a movie that isn’t great in any manner but is just solid enough to be worth a look.

Small time filmmakers join three priests in the middle of nowhere to videotape and chronicle the exorcism of a young woman. When they arrive they are not sure what to expect but soom realize that they may be in far over their heads. Something is clearly wrong with the young woman but what it is they are not sure, but the longer they stay, the more unsafe they begin to feel. As the exorcism begins there seems to be hope that the girl can be saved but could this be another trick of the thing that may reside within the girl? All the filmmakers can hope is that they can get away from the small farmhouse before it’s too late.

An oft times effective and tense film this is one of those little films that could. With a solid cast and some great sets, this one really plays on the nerves. This is, as with most of the exorcism films that come down the pike, not something new to us but just the same there are some real shocks and the film takes interesting turns. The biggest issues here are some melodrama and a huge miscasting in the part of the possessed girl. It isn’t that she’s bad (though they needed to either play up the possession aspect more or really underplay it, as it is they played the middle and it wasn’t always effective) but she just doesn’t fit the part. She looks too clean, too pretty, and too prom queen to feel like this is a lost lamb of God.

Chronicles is far from a bad film it just isn’t anything to get overly excited about. The movie is effective for what it is and does well with its meager budget. This is definitely the sort of film you watch late when you have nothing else to watch. And seen late, and in the dark, it’s sure to put some creep in your bones, for sure.

6.5 out of 10

House of Fears – review

House of Fears - review

 

Man, I love it when you randomly watch movies and they surprise you by being good. This isn’t to that they are great films necessarily but that they are fun, decent movies that you don’t regret watching in the least. Such is the case with House of Fears, a movie I caught streaming on Netflix and ya know what, it was pretty solid.

 

Two step-sisters who are far from friends are pushed by their parents to go together to another schoolmate’s birthday party but when they get to the party the real plans come out – the girls are going to accompany some other friends to a haunted house that is about to open and they are going to get a sneak preview. What they don’t realize though is that the owner of the haunted house had acquired an ancient relic for the haunt and it is a cursed item that brings to life your worst fears. The teens find this out soon enough though as a fun night in the spookhouse turns out to be a fight for survival.

 

 

Hey, first off, gimme credit for not saying ‘turns out to be the fright of their life!’. I spared you the corn there so I get a big high five right off the bat, ok? Good. This is a very straight forward horror film. The definition of a pocorn film, but that isn’t a bad thing at all. We need the popcorn movies from time to time to remind us that movies can be fun distractions. The movie is lacking some key details – why is this evil, how does the owner get it back to the building, how does the ‘curse’ operate to name a few – but if you can get past that you get a pretty fun, pretty solid little movie. The acting is decent, the scares are clever, and the sets are amazing. That this is a film set in a haunted house and that they make it a foreboding place, a place to be afraid of is great, but better is that the ‘fears’ are very well done and very well handled. You also have to give props to a movie that shies away from gore. Like I said, there’s issues with logic, and some of the character’s decisions are pretty silly but ya know what, it never derails the movie in the least. The movie is just fun. Nothing you’ll remember for a long time, but just solid fun.

 

7 out of 10