The End, The Beginning, And The Rest

I have already said my thanks for the amazing 2010 I had and the success I saw as a writer and artist but wanted to thank you all one more time just the same.

Thank you for your continued interest and curiosity in my work. Without you I would still be toiling in vain. There’s no way to really thank you other than to just keep doing what I do and hope you appreciate it.

2010 was pretty amazing.

2011 will be better.

On January first I will release my newest book Red Dreams, a collection of dark short stories and a book I adore. I will do the release at as close to midnight as possible to start the new year with a bang. In the middle of the day on the first I will open my Meep Sheep website for one and all. This is a place to find out about The Meep Sheep, to order it in its incarnations, and to learn about who I am and what I do. To anyone that follows my stuff this won’t be anything new or revealing but is a great place for people new to me and the books to discover the world of the Meep Sheep and a portal to the other things I do. It’s sorta one stop info and shopping for me. And Marcus Bieth did an amazing job on the site. It looks beautiful.

Along with Red Dreams, 2011 will bring you The Kreep Sheep, the follow-up and expansion of The Meep Sheep that features new stories and histories on the peoples and lands you first discovered in The Meep Sheep. This is a book I am still working on but it will be released in the Spring. Wanna know why Lady Hush is so feared? It’s in the book. Wanna know where Bumble Kitties come from? In the book. Wonder why the Pandas left the Great Thicket? It’s here. Curious about the wars that ravaged the lands? Yup. Oh, and were you a little curious as to what happens next, after The Meep Sheep, well, this give you those answers.

So 2011 will be the year of the Meep once more as well as a year for Red Dreams. 2012 though, well, that is still quite a ways off but that will be the year of A Shadow Over Ever, the novel I have waiting for release. It needs a heavy duty looking over and some editing but the book is done so 2012 will see its release after beginning as a short story in 2004.

And any shows or events I end up I will post it here and on the Tumblr so keep your peepers peeled. And again, thank you.

The future begins in twelve hours. See ya then.

c

The Insides of Red Dreams

Here’s a taste of what to expect in Red Dreams when it hits on January first. The book will be $10 and will be awesome personified.

Index~

A Taste for Angels

Guerilla Art

Invocation

The Fear of Clowns

Marvin the Mold

We Bury Our Own

My Anthem is Your Name

Little Sister

It’s the End of the World and All They Gave Me Was This Lousy Mug

The Third Horseman

Where the Fire Began

From Distant Temples

Gee Willikers and the Haunted Penis

Forgive

Remains

c

Another Interview

This was an interview I did a few weeks back with DJ and musician Robo Robb. I owe him a ton for having me out.

Interview.

For Meeping on the Go…

I love books. I will always love books. I mean, I am a writer for goodness sake so it’s clear I am gonna dig me some books. The thing is though that the book is now becoming the ‘book’. We are still getting stories told by amazing storytellers but the way the stories are being conveyed is evolving and there’s little to do but to accept that. This doesn’t mean we need to stop making and producing books but more should move toward ways to print on demand. We are a culture of waste and unfortunately our practices of consumption are rather shameful. There is no reason to produce a million copies of a book until you need that many. I mean, what happens to best sellers that don’t sell? They make their ways down the food chain until they are finally on the discounted table and then what? Discarded. Yikes. Something has to change.

As much as I love books, I really do like the idea and the promise of e-books is pretty exciting. My hope is that in the future I can start taking full advantage of all that this new tool offers but, for now, I just want to make my current books (save Back From Nothing, which is too old to really be able to covert without more work than is reasonable) to be available on the new technology. Not everyone is willing/able to sit down and read a traditional book so I want to make sure my books have every opportunity out there to find an audience.

The first big step here is in making The Meep Sheep available as an e-book. I regret that all the art in the book had to be excised but fully intend to rectify that in time. For now though readers with newer tech get the opportunity to discover this exciting fairy tale world of the Meep Sheep and will get the same joy that the book has brought everyone else.

So, dear reader, I invite you to discover The Meep Sheep anew and share this world with those you love. Click on the name of the book and you’ll be able to order the book for just $6 .

thanks,

C

Edgelands – a story

Every holiday for a great many years I write a story to acknowledge the holiday and the end of the year. This is my 2010 holiday story and odds are the last story I will write for what has been a very eventful year. Hope you like it.

Happy Holidays,

C

Edgelands

I can feel the snow beneath me melting from the heat of me. I can feel it melting and know that beneath the thin crust of snow is the soft stuff, the powder, and beneath the powder is the ice and beneath the ice is the deep, deep water and beneath that is the darkness. I close my eyes and feel the warmth flowing out of me and across the ice and smile as tiny pin pricks of snow touch my face, throat, and hands. I hear distant thunder and close my eyes to it, to the noise, to the heat, to the fire, to all of it but the darkness and the falling snow. I can feel myself slipping, falling layer by layer into the darkness and wonder if there are still bells to ring in the dawning day. And is today the birth of a god or the end of a year, I can’t seem to recall.

Bells.

Are there bells anywhere anymore?

Bells and people to ring them.

More thunder out here on the Edgelands and shouting follows it and is it children laughing or men screaming that I hear? I can’t quite tell and don’t quite care. It’s snowing and I am sinking layer by layer and that’s where I keep my mind.

I remember being one Christmas day when I was still a boy and I remember hearing the news that for that day, for one day, for one day war stopped and the world was still and I smiled. I smiled and wondered what the world would be like if it were Christmas every day. If whatever magic that filled that day spread like a white stain across a black world and stilled all those hands. And I smiled to think of it again but the smile left me as three men ran screaming past me, none stopping as they ran on, the ice cracking around them as they went. A moment later another comes by and stops, kneeling down and mumbling words I cannot hear over the roar of the snow. I open my eyes a little see myself in the boy kneeling before me, the boy in the uniform, but in a moment he is an explosion of red and the my face is hot as the thunder and screaming gets closer, closer, closer still.

And I close my eyes and think of that Christmas, the last with my brother before he went off to war. The last before he was lost. And I see his smiling face and his favorite red sweater and the shaggy black hair that always hung in his face. I focus on that and the pin pricks of snow and I hold that I as fall, hold it as I melt into the darkness and the deep black places. The earth shakes beneath me and I can feel the heat in me leaving as it spreads out across the snow and leaves red behind. I can feel the darkness tugging at me and open my eyes and see a ragged, faceless man standing at the periphery of my vision, standing with his hand out to me and the wind whipping around him as the men and the machines trample by. None of them see me, none look down as the ice cracks beneath them and none feel the water bubble slowly up, none but me. And I smile.

The figure kneels down and I see the stars and I see forever in his face and reach for him. I reach knowing we go to the Edgelands together, joining the long parade and I look again and see only strangers passing by, eyes to the sky and each dressed in red. And the darkness reaches up and I am soaked in the ice water as the cracks spread out like the fingers of a great unseen hand and screams ring out and are gone in again just as quickly as that hand closes. I look away from the stranger beside me that holds my hand and I reach my free hand to the sky and open my mouth to catch the gray snowflakes on my tongue. The snowflakes taste warm and bitter but I swallow them because in the end everything is ash, everything is dust and somewhere the Christmas bells ring and the stranger squeezes my hand and the war is over, the war is over, the war is over and I am free.

We are free.

We are free.

God, we are free.

What Wasn’t Used…

When you start out with any sort of project you have a million ideas, a thousand plans, a hundred notions, and about a half dozen things that come through and Red Dreams follows that track completely.

As usual I went through a few ideas on the name but this time around Red Dreams really stuck with me. I liked the way it evokes a type of dreaming, and seems to pull together the notion of being haunted in your dreams. I think we all have the dreams that are not just bad but are literally haunted, where we are followed by the things that chase us, our fears real and imagined. With the name came the idea for the cover, which was to show a bloody hand clutching some bedsheets. I have been drawing the covers for my books and chapbooks and ‘zines since I began this crazy journey and stepping out of my comfort zone was important to me. I love drawing the covers but I really wanted to try something different. With the cover I wanted to convey the throes of terror you have in the Red Dreams and what it is like to have them follow you out, into the real world. For a moment, for a second you think that you are surrounded by all the monsters of the world and that everyone you love is dead. For that moment you are alone. That is the cover I wanted. I sketched out the initial ideas and tried a few times to solidify it but was too worried that my lack of conventional drawing skills would limit the power of the cover and the cover HAS to pull you in. If the cover doesn’t work then the people don’t move past that. So the cover has to work. Which is why I went with the photo. It’s my sincere hope that the cover works. I love it. I love it to pieces. The rest, the rest is all the frosting that I have to get working on – the promo work and all that. But the book, the book, as sudden as it came together there was a plan. There is always a plan. And the plans will be revealed, inch by inch by inch.

Next, well, next friends comes the release, but before that, some teases.

Today comes the other art. The photos that were not used. Amanda was very, very patient with  me as I poured fake blood all over her hand and posed her and took my shots. So here are the shots that were not used, one that was, and what we ended up with.

Red Dreams

OK, here we go.

The new book is called Red Dreams and is a collection of dark stories similar to 2009′s This Beautiful Darkness. Generally newer work with a couple older pieces dusted off and thrown in there. Most of the works are freshened up. The book is 214 pages long and is a paperback and is built for travel. The book’s cover photo I did with the help of the lovely Amanda Emery, who allowed me to fake blood her hand up for the photo. The layout I did in MS Word ’07 thanks to a template CreateS pace has. It took a couple tries but i nailed it. Amanda went through and zazzed up the page numbers and made sure it all looked ok (though if there are issues then it’s all my fault as I am the one who went over the thing the closest). The cover concept had been floating around with the name for a bit now, but it changed from a drawing to a photo when I realized the art just wasn’t going to be able to come out as clean as I would have hoped. I liked the idea of changing things up as well and going to a photo cover for the first time. Marcus Bieth put the cover together for me when my first attempt was having some issues.

I love this cover.

It reminds me of an old paperback book. I dunno what other people will think – ahh, ghastly – or – ahh, lamely – but I like it quite a bit.

I need to get a press release together that I will send around locally and post after the first. I will have the book for sale on the January first, the same day I hope to have the Meep Sheep website up and live. Not sure on a price for the book. I wanna upgrade to the pro plan which lessens my cost so I can see what I want the price point to be. I think I know but wanna be sure.

Finally, wow, another book, so soon?

Yes. I have several hundred stories written and am constantly writing. I also have an unpublished novel (which I plan to have out in 2012). I will actually release another book in the Spring. Why? Because I can. I have the stories, the books are not that hard to put together, and I would rather die knowing I got out as much of my work as I was able and didn’t waste my time waiting for some magical publisher to come down from on high to grant me some sort of legitimacy.

I believe in this book, I believe in these stories, I believe in this process, I believe in you.

I may not sell a ton of books but each book I sell means the world to me because someone took a chance on me as an artist and writer. I put my heart into these things and I hope it shows.

Thanks for letting me keep doing it and keeping any interest you may have.

Thanks.

And Now I Shall Give You…RED DREAMS

So here it is, the new book and the new cover. I edited it and layed it out myself first and then did the cover and…was told by wiser people that it needed some work. With the help of Amanda Emery and Marcus Bieth I was able to really nail this thing and really like how it came together. So happy. The book is another dark collection of stories and is 214 pages. I am still working out the price but will get all the details to you when I post the link for purchase. The book is getting approved so hopefully that will happen soon.

WOO!

 

 

Psst…It’s Almost Here…

Ok, so here’s my update on all things book.

As it stands I am done editing Book Four and am happy to be done with it. I love editing, especially older works, because it gives me a chance to look back at stories I haven’t seen in a while and can fix any flubs and can expand the story. I love doing it but, man, it gets old after a while so it’s nice to get it over with. So with the editing done I moved to the layout, which was a bear at first but is something I handled. I hadn’t done a layout myself before and really wanted to try to do it and it turned out pretty good. Next up is the cover work. I had waffled on a drawn cover, like my other books and chapbooks, or a photo cover and am going with the photo. It would have been the same image/concept in either one but think it will work better as a photo.

With some work and luck the book will land early to Mid-January and I cannot wait. I really like how it’s turning out and think you will too. It’s another collection of dark stories so it’s right in my wheel-house. The fun thing about the way I am doing books now too is that I can put them out whenever I feel like it. Heck, I have hundreds of stories and a novel so I certainly have the work.

I will post the cover and name of the book soon as well as any other details.
Which leads us to…

The next Meep book will be out in Spring of 2011 and will be a book of histories of the places and peoples of the land. It also fills in some background on some of the characters and peers into the future a little. I am really excited about the book and am looking forward to writing the last three stories and getting it all together. I have a name and cover idea but will get to that when the time comes.

Before the next book hits though I will have a website up for all things Meep and that should be up in a week or two. The site looks AMAZING thanks to the work of Marcus Bieth, a friend and designer. This will be a simple site for info on the book and links for people to find me as well as an easy way to order the book. I wanted to have a one stop place and easy website to direct people to and this will be that.

So there you have it. It should be a pretty exciting end to 2010 and I look forward to showing you what I am working on and what is to come next.

See ya soon.

For Those Who Survive

For those that survive, the darkness has yet to pass.

The darkness, that great black curtain that falls any time we lose someone we love, is a living thing that morphs and evolves day by day as you remember things once forgotten and regret things never done or said. The darkness that haunts us for the rest of our lives just as the absence of our loved one does.

But there is light.

As dark as things may get we can never, ever forget that every darkness is born of the absence of light, and that every light yet lives in the darkness, just unseen.

There is always light.

In every fond memory, in every soft word, in every photo, and every time we think of someone we lost there is a light waiting to be born. And sometimes that is the worst of it, that there is so much love in us at times that knowing that a person we loved is gone makes it hurt all the more. But there is light. Whenever you love someone it doesn’t go away, it never goes away, it just changes, it evolves, it grows as we grow and never has to disappear. Memories and love are never enough, never, never enough to make up for the loss of someone but life too evolves. Life too changes. And it is change that makes this world worth exploring.

We are neither promised nor guaranteed that we will meet people who touch our lives in lasting ways and it is only by the act of magic and miracles that we do meet those people. Take a moment, one moment, and think on all the loves of your life, all the friends, all the family, all the amazing people you have met so far on this journey and who have touched your life and changed who you are. It’s breathtaking. It’s overwhelming. It’s light.

Loss is always sad, it is sad because suddenly we are without this light we had known for so long, but just because that light is dimmed it does not mean it is gone, it means it has changed. It is only gone if we let that light extinguish, and that happens if we cling too long to the dark. We all need to mourn, we need to hurt, but in the end we also need to heal or we lose why it was we were hurting in the first place.

And here’s the rub – I can give you a million flowery words but it won’t take your loss away. The horrible thing in life is that we are born to lose the things we love, but lose them though we may, we lose them only in a physical sense. The feelings we have, the moments we share are gone only when we let them leave us and even then they remain. We affect people in so many ways that we cannot guess, and are affedted in the same ways. We will never know how deeply the people around us have changed us and will never see how many fingerprints are on our hearts but you can never remove those fingerprints, even if we want them gone. At your saddest, at your darkest, take solace in knowing that you changed the people you loved and you too were changed by them. Even if you can never see it, it is there, like breath…like faith…like magic.

So this is for those that survive and are left behind. A love song and a reminder at once. We are only in the dark as long as we choose to remain there, but in the end – is the dark where the person you have lost would want you? Is that your tribute? Don’t they deserve more?

So mourn. So cry. So hurt.

But heal.

But remember.

But live.

Because living is the true sign that we have not forgotten the ones we love, and the true sign that the light lives on. And for you I light a candle, in honor of all of those you have lost, so you may find your way back home.